Lesson #6 Persuasion, Seduction and Manipulation - Do you know the difference?

 

When you think about the way humans communicate throughout life it is safe to say that persuasion, manipulation and seduction has been a part of our communication process since the beginning of time.  Adam & Eve the first known humans to be reported on earth from a biblical standpoint lived in the Garden, and Lucifer known as Satan, a snake in disguise, coerces Adam and Eve to eat from the tree of life.  However, the question is, how did Lucifer get Eve to eat the apple? Was it through persuasion, manipulation or seduction? Many times in our own relationships, we communicate in ways perceived completely different to someone else.

•  “Persuasion is an activity or process in which a communicator attempts to induce a change in the belief, attitude, or behavior of another person or group of persons through the transmission of a message in a context in which the persuadee has some degree of free choice” (Seiter, 2004, p.5).    

•   Manipulation is unfair to the extent that it involves taking more than one’s fair share of power over the other party’s choice situation whether by deception or some other means”(Greenspan, 2003, p.160).

•   “Seduction is closer to persuasion than to manipulation, because it is praxis, as it focuses on a subject, even if the seducer becomes an object” (Codoban, 2006, p.155).

When you think about the way humans communicate throughout life, it is safe to say that persuasion, manipulation and seduction has been a part of our communication process since the beginning of time.  Adam & Eve the first known humans to be reported on earth from a biblical standpoint lived in the Garden, and Lucifer known as Satan, a snake in disguise, coerces Adam and Eve to eat from the tree of life.  However, the question is, how did Lucifer get Eve to eat the apple?  Was it through persuasion, manipulation, or seduction?  Many times in our own relationships, we communicate in ways interpreted completely different to someone else.

Lesson # 5 Conflict in Communication

I believe conflict is inevitable, and as my husband states” especially in marriage.”  Throughout our life from early childhood to adult hood, we all have to face different degrees of conflict whether intentional or unintentional.  Most of the time in my own experience I find that negative outcomes occur when two people have dissimilar ways of communicating and are not willing to stop and look at the other persons perspective or point of view.  Defenses are up, and compromising is nowhere in sight. The book states in chapter 4 “When enacting a conflict style, people also employ both strategies and tactics.  While both styles and strategies refer to overall plans for dealing with conflict, styles differ from strategies in their scope” (Cahn, 2007, p.7.7).  

What makes a conflict end negatively is when those styles and tactics are different.  I feel people don’t like to lose and if the ego has anything to do with it, then you can rest assured winning and being right will be the focus; everything else is secondary. Some ways to ensure healthier conflicts are compromising, collaboration, understanding, respect and the avoidance of defense mechanism. However, most importantly two people must want to achieve the same goal, and that is to succeed at better communication.

Tactful or Tasteful Lesson #4 Your Fired!

How many horror stories have been told regarding an employee being fired with nothing more than a layoff notice and a few minutes to gather their personal items?  What about the story of the employees who came to work only to find the doors locked or company closed permanently without any warning.  When one has to fire or terminate someone or a group of people, there will be some uneasiness or even dread.   However, there does not have to be a lack of compassion or class when delivering bad news.  When an employee is not fulfilling their part of an agreement, an employer’s job is to handle the situation in a way he or she sees fit.  In this case scenario, I will discuss how I would reprimand or worse replace an employee.

 First, I would do is call in the employee for a meeting with the intent to go over their work performance.  This job review performance will provide the employee with notification of a deficiency.  In my review, I would point out the areas that are not meeting the companies work policies or objectives.  Before the review, I would already have a list of strengths and accomplishments as well as weaknesses or improvement areas to discuss from prior observations.  In this particular case, it would not hurt to have examples of some of the complaints or confrontations as proof instead of coming across as vague or indefinite.  I would also come up with recommendations to improve the employee’s work performance in a specific period.  If in that time the employee’s performance has not shown any form of improvement, I will include in the review the consequence, which is a ground for termination.

If the case scenario tells me that this particular employee is already confrontational, his response may be even more challenging or defensive.  When dealing with this type of conflict style, I would use the collaboration style to deal with the employee’s behavior.  Furthermore, the type of collaboration strategy I would use would be “initiating problem solving” which involves using statements that initiate mutual consideration of solutions to conflict” (Cahn, 2007).  My solution would be to give my employee an action plan which will demonstrate to him or her steps in order to improve their work ethics.  There would also be a copy of the employee’s job description included with a list of requirements needed in order to fulfill the job.  This will help reiterate goals to meet in a specific amount of time allotted to ensure a higher rate of success. 

  As I continue to use my collaboration style in order to deal with this conflict, I would also make sure I explain my position and the value this employee has to the company. With this all said and done, I would also notify my employee that I cannot negate the fact that his or her recent behavior does not coincide with the company’s value system.  However, in still, if the employee's demeanor or disposition is continuously negative or hostile, I would make it clear that if the behavior worsens within the next few days, the alternative recourse may be immediate termination. 

As I conclude the meeting, I will have the employee sign the performance review sheet, answer any questions, go over all concerns or course of action for clarity, and dismiss the employee with plans to monitor his or her situation discreetly. 

Public Relations or Public Nightmare! Lesson #4

If you want your clients or the media to understand how your company works, its best that you do so in the form of public relations.  What you do not need is the media’s interpretation of your company to your clients.  If you find yourself in this situation more than likely, you are involved in some type of publicity. Whether this is good or bad information is not up to you. In order for a company to take control of its reputation, a company must make sure they research, plan, perform, communicate, and gain public interest through strategic yet deliberate activity (Camden, 2008).  This is the concept of public relations briefly.  It is not a one-way channel of communication such as with publicity, but rather a purposeful method to gain customers trust in a brand or a motto itself.

Media Technology Today Lesson #3

 Media Technology 

When hearing the term media technology, one can be a little intimidated at first.  Media technology is all around us.  Nine times out of ten, people use some form of media technology every day.  Being a graduate from MIT is not required to understand what media technology is or how it helps us in communicating.  Media technology surrounds us and can vary from televisions to Facebook's accounts or Smartphone’s to text messaging.  There are antiquated media technologies and new media technologies.  Some of the old technologies are televisions, radio, and cameras.  Some of the new technologies are DVDs, Skype, Facebook, and Twitter.  Let us look at a few technologies that are popular and rather common in this day in time.

Smartphone’s

Smart phones are multi-function phones with computing abilities and features that are not available on standard mobile phones.  This device allows one to make calls, receive emails, download documents, fax, and have faster internet connections.  Another great function of a Smartphone is the capability to add personal PDA’s (personal digital assistants) which created portable organizers all in one.  Some of the most popular Smartphone’s right now are Blackberry, Palm OS, and Nokia E62.

Instant messaging and text messaging

When trying to correspond with another person instantly without every making a phone call, instant messaging (IM) or text messaging are the way to go.  Instant messaging is a very popular form of communicating when using the internet.  When a person opens a Yahoo, AOL or Windows live email account, there is an option to activate an IM account too.  This allows a person to use email like an online chat; a very popular feature on Facebook as well.  Another way to use text messaging is via a cell phone.  This popular communication advice is for quick responses or long conversations by typing messages on a cell phone pad.  Both media technologies are appealing because one can access replies or messages immediately.  However, what makes these two different is that IM allows one to send messages even when a person is off line while text messaging does not.

Internet aka World Wide Web (WWW)

The revolution of the internet has enhanced the way we communicate and use communication more than any other media technology today. The internet has changed the world in many ways. There was a time when we had to wait to see if mail delivered to its destination within 5-7 days.  Now with email, we can receive letters and documents within minutes.  Banking is no longer a long process of waiting in line, waiting for deposits or waiting to pay bills. With direct deposit, bill pay and online banking, everything is literally a click away.  Transferring money has never been easier and easy access to bank statements is just another way we are able to receive instant gratification by using the internet.  Finally yet importantly, social-networking sites have exploded due to the internet.  Now people can connect with friends, families, co-workers, and companies for any purpose, whether it’s to find love, work friendship or simply companionship.

Video sharing or conferencing

Vimeo, Youtube, Skype, or EyeSight by Mac has changed the way we communicate with others in other places, whether in another house, office, city, state or country.  With any of these media technologies, a person can upload videos, share videos, post videos, and even edit videos at their disposal.  Depending on what one’s niche or purpose is, determines which video sharing community they will join.  Most of these communities are free to join making it is easy to begin interacting with friends and family in a completely new technological way.