Lesson #6 Persuasion, Seduction and Manipulation - Do you know the difference?

 

When you think about the way humans communicate throughout life it is safe to say that persuasion, manipulation and seduction has been a part of our communication process since the beginning of time.  Adam & Eve the first known humans to be reported on earth from a biblical standpoint lived in the Garden, and Lucifer known as Satan, a snake in disguise, coerces Adam and Eve to eat from the tree of life.  However, the question is, how did Lucifer get Eve to eat the apple? Was it through persuasion, manipulation or seduction? Many times in our own relationships, we communicate in ways perceived completely different to someone else.

•  “Persuasion is an activity or process in which a communicator attempts to induce a change in the belief, attitude, or behavior of another person or group of persons through the transmission of a message in a context in which the persuadee has some degree of free choice” (Seiter, 2004, p.5).    

•   Manipulation is unfair to the extent that it involves taking more than one’s fair share of power over the other party’s choice situation whether by deception or some other means”(Greenspan, 2003, p.160).

•   “Seduction is closer to persuasion than to manipulation, because it is praxis, as it focuses on a subject, even if the seducer becomes an object” (Codoban, 2006, p.155).

When you think about the way humans communicate throughout life, it is safe to say that persuasion, manipulation and seduction has been a part of our communication process since the beginning of time.  Adam & Eve the first known humans to be reported on earth from a biblical standpoint lived in the Garden, and Lucifer known as Satan, a snake in disguise, coerces Adam and Eve to eat from the tree of life.  However, the question is, how did Lucifer get Eve to eat the apple?  Was it through persuasion, manipulation, or seduction?  Many times in our own relationships, we communicate in ways interpreted completely different to someone else.

Lesson # 5 Conflict in Communication

I believe conflict is inevitable, and as my husband states” especially in marriage.”  Throughout our life from early childhood to adult hood, we all have to face different degrees of conflict whether intentional or unintentional.  Most of the time in my own experience I find that negative outcomes occur when two people have dissimilar ways of communicating and are not willing to stop and look at the other persons perspective or point of view.  Defenses are up, and compromising is nowhere in sight. The book states in chapter 4 “When enacting a conflict style, people also employ both strategies and tactics.  While both styles and strategies refer to overall plans for dealing with conflict, styles differ from strategies in their scope” (Cahn, 2007, p.7.7).  

What makes a conflict end negatively is when those styles and tactics are different.  I feel people don’t like to lose and if the ego has anything to do with it, then you can rest assured winning and being right will be the focus; everything else is secondary. Some ways to ensure healthier conflicts are compromising, collaboration, understanding, respect and the avoidance of defense mechanism. However, most importantly two people must want to achieve the same goal, and that is to succeed at better communication.